April 07, 2012

The Power of Extraordinary Moments: How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?

The orginal article can be found on this page.

Is love an addiction? Are all relationships addictive? This article explores how all healthy relationships include at least one addictive moment and how, in unhealthy relationships, this one moment is often the basis for the whole relationship. You can check the first part of the article here: Is It Love?,the second part here: What is love? and the third part here: Do You Choose the Person?

How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?
The Quick and only accurate answer. In a New York minute. And being from New York, I know this amount of time all too well. No joke.

"But can't people grow in love?"
No they can't. They can, however, heal what prevents them from seeing beauty in each other and in this way, see more beauty in someone they already love.
When this happens, you do feel more love.
Sometimes, too, when people want to have a relationship really badly, this powerful wanting drives them to put in a lot of work to make an existing relationship better. Sometimes, this works in that sometimes they do fall in love along the way. Even here though, this "falling in love" moment takes an instant and not the time it took to do the whole long period of hard work.
What I'm saying is, "love" is simply not something which comes on slowly. It's always a discovery thing, never a getting used to or working it out thing.
So what about all the people who say things like, "real love takes time."
They're right. Being healthy enough to be open when love comes calling can take a life time in fact. And sadly, some people will miss out no matter how hard they try.

In truth, though, even very damaged people fall in love. They do it all the time. They just don't get to enjoy this love in the mature, grown up sense of enjoying it, meaning, they don't find a partner with whom they can heal and grow.

This, then, is what takes time, what I call, the "deepening process." No coincidence this is what hypnotists call it when they help someone to go further into a hypnotic state. In fact, the hypnotist's "deepening" is very similar to what we do when we "deepen" our love for someone. Still, this "deepening" is neither the beginning nor the cause nor the source of love. It is simply the expanding of a love we already feel.

Ok, so if you really think about it the falling in love proces. According to my experiences, well, it could really be "love at first sight", the perfect right moment, when you know. You just know that's it :)

But again, according to my experieces, this moment took a bit to come along. I knew the boy for months and never ever thought about falling in love with him. And then one days was just like "Baaaaaaaam!" and I was in love. Lol. It was acutally kind of difficult for me to accept the idea (or I should say fact) well, whatever. I fell. Hard. 

So, it think it really is all about waiting for the right moment. If you like the guy, then, probably the moment will happen. But I think I need to point out the important thing, that you need to be attracted to the guy - The physical thing always count or he does have that "something" that draws you in ;)

What do you think about it? How long does it takes to fall? :)
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