Best Quotes of 2013

Hosted by Rachel from Fiktshun, Lisa from A Life Bound By Books, Jessica from Confessions of a Bookaholic, Jaime from Two Chicks on Books and Mindy from Magical Urban Fantasy Reads, the Top 10 of 2013 runs for five consecutive days and highlights some of our favourite reads throughout the year.

Best Quotes in 2013

"There are no good choices, Allison," Kanin offered in a quiet voice. "There are only those you can live with, and those you can work to change." 

"What the hell was I supposed to do, Eva? I didn't know you existed. If I'd known you were out there, I would have hunted you down. I wouldn't have waited a second to find you. But I didn't know, and I settled for less. So did you. We both wasted ourselves on the wrong people." 

It's easy and un-extraordinary to be frightened of life. It's far more difficult to arm yourself with the good stuff despite all the bad and step foot into tomorrow as an everyday warrior.

Going after him might not be the smart choice, the logical choice - but it was how I felt, and Doctor Z always encouraged me to try to get what I wanted. To feel I deserved to get what I wanted.

"I would have torn this whole damn country apart looking for you."

My mom said once that education was a privilege not afforded to everyone, but she was wrong - it wasn't a privilege. It was our right. We had the right to a future.

For too long I've been pulled one way, then another; between who I was, and who I am. But who do I want to be? Who I am now and what I do, now, will be decided by me, and me alone.

She's all broken inside but no one will ever notice.

That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it.

I was an independent, twenty-four-year-old grown-ass woman. 

God, I love quotes!! :) 

Merry Christmas :)

What are your favourite quotes of 2013? :)

Best Book Covers of 2013

Hosted by Rachel from Fiktshun, Lisa from A Life Bound By Books, Jessica from Confessions of a Bookaholic, Jaime from Two Chicks on Books and Mindy from Magical Urban Fantasy Reads, the Top 10 of 2013 runs for five consecutive days and highlights some of our favourite reads throughout the year.

Best Book Covers of 2013

Pretty shiny covers :)

What are your favourite covers of 2013? :)

Best Books I've Read in 2013

Hosted by Rachel from Fiktshun, Lisa from A Life Bound By Books, Jessica from Confessions of a Bookaholic, Jaime from Two Chicks on Books and Mindy from Magical Urban Fantasy Reads, the Top 10 of 2013 runs for five consecutive days and highlights some of our favourite reads throughout the year.

Best Books I've Read in 2013

Due to my busy schedule in 2013, I haven't read as many book as I wished. But still managed to read 45 books as in 14341 pages :) I'm pretty proud nonetheless ;)

These are my favourite books that I've read in 2013! I loved every single one of them!! They made my days :)

What are your favourite books from 2013? :)

In what kind of society did we end up?

Thanks to Utility Workers Union of America and Labor 411 for the pic!

You know that feeling when you work part-time and you have 45 hours per week? And the other three days in the week you are going to Uni? And the homework at 3am on Sunday after you finish work just so you will meet the deadline? And the other assignments? And being treated at work like a lower class person? And being yelled at? Trying to do the best as you can but they will always find a mistake just so they can pull you down? Being constantly physically and emotionally exhausted? I do. I face this everyday, or I should say every week. 

Needless to say, I didn't have much time for blogging or reading for the matter. And God, I've missed it. Doing things that I love. Things that I enjoy doing.

Today they broke me. I was doing an 11-11 shift and at 9pm, when I asked for a cigarette break, they said no. As in "you will go when I will tell you to go".Which, let me explain two, three things. I work in hospitality. It wasn't that busy and I could go no problem. And why it upset me that much wasn't really because of the cigarette that I desperately needed. It was the knowledge that he wouldn't let me go just because he could. As in "I have the power and you are nothing, and you will do as I say". I come across stuff like this everyday at work, but they are usually more subtle about it. This time around it wasn't. The whole day was pretty much stressful and that was just the cherry on the top of the cake. I hated him. I hated everything. I loathe the society we live in today. I do. And then realisation that this will never end, broke me even more.

Capitalism. Modernization. Everything. Money, money and even more money. Corporations are everything. Money is everything. Work work work and there is value. People? Oh, come again? Who cares about people as long as we have the capital and corporations? Fuck. That. Shit. I hate it. People do matter. 

My other manager said people these days are not hard workers. You should have seen my O_o face. Now, you might think, well yeah probably there are, but talking about an environment where all people work 10-13 hours per day.. that's a different story. And I was like "What?!" And she kept going. And all I could think was, people don't mind hard work. We are all working for something that is worth working that much for. What people do mind is working hard and being treated like a piece of shit. Show people respect for their work, and they will be willing to work even harder. Because they will think their work matter, that they matter. Without respect.. what exactly are we doing?

I understand that we have to work to survive. But at what cost? All of a sudden my motto "All for Uni, all in the name of science" wasn't enough. How much am I supposed to take and how many times do I have to break so future Nea will have a shot at something good? Not extraordinary, just something good. 

In what kind of society did we end up?

Everyday I glimpse this disappointment. I didn't go to school for getting this. I didn't got to Uni for this. I didn't study my ass off for this. And sometimes I am so scared that even my Master degree that I am working so hard to achieve, won't actually help. This is what probably scares me the most. 

How is it possible that with all the technology, science and modernization, we have to work 10-12 hours per day to have a normal life? I don't think my grandparents fought and worked that hard for us to end up in a society like this.

P.L. Berger and T. Luckmann (1966)  in The social construction of reality taught us that in Primary Socialization no matter how much the primal sense of inevitability in the subsequent disappointments is weaken, the memory of certainty (that will never happen again) is adhering to the first world of Childhood. Primary Socialization in this way achieves what we can call the biggest and most important issue of trust, that the society can afford. The world of Childhood is designed to install an established value system in the individual structure, that the child can trust, as in "everything will be okay". Later we find out that some things are way far from being "okay".

And I am telling you now, the future is a far cry from okay. The reality is a far cry from okay.

Love has really become a washing powder.

You know, I've been wondering.. is there a place on this earth where there are people who still have values, there is no consumer-capitalism, and people just don't use each other? If you know about it, please point me the way. I really want to go there.

I've been analyzing interpersonal relationships for a while now, and you'd think I can't be surprised anymore by anything, but god, you are wrong. It always knocks me flat on my butt and all I can think is "these things are really happening?"

Dating. I've never been much of a dater, but I always liked the idea of it. Get to know better the people we are attracted to before we jump to bed. Or in a relationship. Because it's somehow easier to know in what kind of thing you are getting yourself into. You actually know the person. Or so I thought. 

Dating is mating - today. Shocking. I mean, what? If I go on a date with a guy, that doesn't necessarily mean I have to sleep with him. Where did the kiss goodnight go? And holding hands? I always thought things will get easier when I'll get older, but I was wrong about that too. Things got a hell of a lot more complicated. Or the times has changed. 

Sex got so easily accessible, that it has lost its value almost completely these days. 

And quite honestly I am so tired of it. I see guys around every night trying to get some, and actually getting it. And the next day again with someone else. And someone else. Consumed with the need "get high". With random people. Call me old-fashioned but this thing does affect the interpersonal relations ans the results are in my opinion catastrophic. I will use an awesome quote from Bared to you by Sylvia Day for this case:

"Why even call it a fuck? Why not be clear and call it a 

seminal emission in a pre-approved orifice?"

Exactly my point. 

Rare people want to actually commit. If you ask around 20-something people, they will all say "I don't do relationships. I don't do commitment. I don't -insert here whatever- relationship." Too much work? Too much effort? We are all so scared to commit but on the other hand we crave the closeness of another human being.

And the consumer-capitalism isn't helping the case either. Health, sex, beauty,... Everything today has become so easily accessible, that noone wants to put even a little effort for anything anymore. And I hate it. 

And where is the love? The true one. Not the "I love you because of the sum of the positive attributes that you have" one. Because this isn't love. You go to the supermarket and you buy the washing powder that has the sum of the positive attributes that will make your clothes clean and smell nice. And you don't love the washing powder. It's not love, it's using. 

I am so tired of society today. It's exhausting. I am exhausted. When I tell my mother that I think in her twenties things were easier, she tells me that they weren't that easier. But I think they were. People were happy. They cared for each other, and most of all, they respected each other. They may had a little less than we have today, but really, where did all the informations, technology, and money get us? To a collapse of values and destruction of interpersonal relations.

There is a great research called The demise of guys that Philip G. Zimbardo, PhD, has done. He talked about it on 2013 APA annual convention. I suggest you to watch it. It's a good one.

Anyway, this is my general opinion about society today. Don't take it personally.

Don't stop me now, I am having such a good time

Hello lovely people,

I am sorry for being away for a while. It's been a very busy and hardcore stressful period. Hopefully, it's behind me, and I will start blogging again the way I used and loved to. 

Don't remember where I got this pic. Hope that's ok.

There have been many drastic changes in my life.

I quit my job. Finally.

I mean, I loved it - I loved the costumers and I loved making coffees, but hell the people I worked with... ugh. I am a drama queen, but hell, that was too much drama even for me. It's been bad for a while, so I finally decided to take a step forward and just leave.

I got a new job. 

A very good one for the matter. It's kind of hard and stressful, but the payment is very good and I have lots and lots of hours, so my financial plan of saving is finally on.

I fucking passed my IELTS exam! With 7.5 :D

That was insane. The day of the exam, I mean. It was bad. I had a panic attack and I actually couldn't breathe. It was awful. And I was crying so badly and I just couldn't stop. In that moment I just wanted to quit everything, go home and just.. I don't know. I hate exams. I do. The anxiety that comes with them is just too much sometimes. And this time I think it was the worst ever. I thrown up as well. A couple of times. Like I said, I was bad. And the results? Oh. It took me 40 minutes to actually click the button for results. I was so scared. But when I finally managed and saw them.. I burst into tears. Big fat sobs. I did it. I fucking did it. Therefore...

I am going to University in one month.

My goal of the past year and a half. I am actually going. Because honestly in the past few months I started doubting it. Money and English and shit. No more doubting. Thanks to my new job and my IELTS exam, I can go. And hell, I am so going. 

I became an aunt. 

My sister had the baby. It's a boy. Luka. Funny though, I spent 9 months thinking it was a girl and I actually bought everything pink. But he is very beautiful :) And my sister is so happy. So, I am happy too :)

And there is this guy..

Ha. Well, there was this guy that used to come to the coffee house, where I worked, every Tuesday around 5pm and ordering a double espresso. Drop dead gorgeous. I was always blushing and well, it was pretty much embarrassing. I don't know if he noticed, but well. And then I quit the job and I was like "uh, ok whatever". I was walking today to my previous job to get my last payment slip and I saw this gorgeous guy sitting in a restaurant near the coffee house. And I stared. Like stared stared. And then I recognized him!! It was him. The amber eyes guy. And I said "well, there are two options now. You can leave and probably never see him again. OR you can say fuck to your mother for saying that you are asocial and go and get what you want". And I did. I went there, I sat next to him and said "hi :)". You should have seen his puzzled expression!! And then I added (when I put the sunglasses away) "I quit the job at the coffee house". And then I could totally see the recognition in his eyes. We started chatting. And well, it was nice. And in the end he asked me to swoop numbers so we could go together to see a show during the Edinburgh festival. Oh my god. Amazing. Ofcourse I said YES. Ok, I am being such a girl, but I really like him. I mean, come on, he wouldn't have asked for my number just for the sake of being polite, right? We shall see :)

I am honestly tired of the drama with guys. And non-defined-relations shit. I want something real. Something worth fighting for. Something worth the risk. Something to look forward to, and not being scared of. 

Life is finally good again :)