March 04, 2012

Blogspiration #5

Blogspiration is a Brand Spankin' New weekly meme hosted by both GrowingUp YA and Saz101. The meme was created to help spark inspiration among bloggers, readers and writers alike. An inspirational quote/picture/video is posted weekly, on the day of the author's choosing, so that it may inspire creativity, conversation, and just a little SOMETHING.

I had a crush on a guy for 2 years (maybe I still have one, don't know). I didn't know his name, I didn't know what was he studying, I didn't know anything. He was the guy from the library - we all called him that (my friends and I).

I went to make my Erasmus for one year in Sicily and when I came back I went to the library in November. I completely forgot about this guy. I still like him, but I wasn't thinking about him at all. So I was in the library and was waiting for my copies of a book to finish my report and I was bored and anxious. My report was due to the next day and I had all the night long to write it. I was looking into a book to get some insight for my report when I got a feeling someone was watching me. I looked up. 

It was one of that rare moments in your life when the whole world was forgotten. Everything was forgotten. He was looking at me. And I was looking at him. My heart literally stopped and then started in a speed I quite forgot how good it felt. I started blushing from my neck to my face. All the butterflies in the world started floating in my stomach. I couldn't breath. I couldn't look away. And he was still looking. At me.

It lasted for 10 seconds I guess, but I can say I think I figured out all the answers to the world in that 10 seconds. It was like magic.

I've read an article that said that "falling in love" is one moment. One short moment. But you can recall it forever. You stick with your partner forever, because of that moment. 

 The "moment?"
Yes, the "moment." If you've been in love, you've fallen. And if you've fallen, you can still picture this moment, even if it was forty years ago and even if the relationship only lasted a week or two. If you fell in love, you will still be able to picture the moment even forty years later.

No matter what people think though, the truth is, falling in love is a moment, nothing more. Granted, it's a magical, instantaneous, infectious, addicting moment to be sure. One minute, you are feeling one way about your life. The next, you feel totally different. Still, this moment is one life chose for us, not a moment we chose. So even if we believe we allow it to happen, no one "allows" it to happen. We simply allow it to unfold once it has already happened.

So, in that moment I should have stand up, go to him and ask him to go and take a coffe with me. However, I didn't. I looked back in my book. And couldn't find myself to look up again. The moment was somehow lost, forever.

However, I did go to him, ask him to take a coffee with me, less than a month later, when my friend convinced me to go - I didn't want to - but all I could do was talking about him and he said I needed to go and do myself a favour to see where I stood. OMG, this was the biggest disaster of my life. I've chosen the worst moment ever. He was in a hurry and I was so nervous and when I asked him - I guess, he was in shock - he said he had a training and was in a hurry. And I said "ok, whatever, bye" LAME. Well, yeah. It was a disaster. 

We never spoke again. And it was so so awkward everytime we saw each other later. So yeah, you get what I mean. But, after a year I can still perfectly picture that moment. And I guess, I will be able to picture it forever.
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